Art of female bonding

Well, it’s not an art really, but it is special, organic, dynamic, and it most likely got your attention. I have been “bonding” alot lately with my female peers, but this morning is the icing on the cake. My main yoga instructor Rebecca is a tall, thin, loud girl… at first, she seems out of place, and you wonder why she talks so much in class, but when you listen, you realize that she has some good insight into what we might need to hear. She isn’t afraid to talk about herself and her problems, so long as it helps someone else, much like myself.

Anyhoo, today she mentioned that she had been avoiding Facebook and MySpace and such, but that she finally broke down, and within a week, her first “love” from high school (15 years old) had found her. She was blown away that she was reconnecting with her first real boyfriend, now that it’s 15+ years later. I almost blurted out, “Me too!” While Facebook was not responsible, I have reconnected with my boyfriend from age 15. We rode together, have hung out a few times, exchanged some emails, and he came to my engagement celebration and my birthday party. What amazes me, and I told her this as she stood there with her mouth agape and eyes wide, is that I remember all of his mannerisms, and they are still the same! We are talking 19 years later for me… closer to 20 now that I think about it. It’s amazing how some things don’t change.

What got me is what she brought up. She pointed out that she dated this guy when she was still innocent, before trauma and drama touched her life and heart. That’s the girl he remembers, and vice versa. It was the same for me. I was dating Nick right before I moved away from home to go dance. We shared some really interesting times, and it was hard to leave him. I actually found pics from the day I left about a month ago. So, I was innocent and unscarred by life when I knew him. I saw him again about 14 years ago, and we hung out a bit. He was the first guy to cook for me, actually. My point is that I think what is so interesting is that even though more has happened in the years since we last dated than we could share with each other, we have that comfort of knowing each other at a time before all the hurt, before divorces, deception, depression, and any number of life events that forever change us. It is refreshing to get in touch with that girl again, to some extent. ¬†Despite all the barriers I may have built up over the years, I don’t feel them, because we are starting off from innocence.35th Birthday- Me and Nick

She also mentioned that she had recently been very ill and had shut alot of doors in her life. I, too, have been going through a transformation and shut alot of doors on past events. The timing, the events, people, stage in our life is eerily similar. She was so animated and aghast at the whole thing, I felt compelled to hug her… like a kindred spirit of sorts. I really feel we could learn alot from each other and feel drawn to her, perhaps because we are going through similar life events.

These little connections make my days brighter. Sharing in life and love, sadness, happiness…knowing that there are kindred spirits out there going through the same thing, supporting your efforts, cheering you on… and being able to be that support for someone stuck in a hard spot, or that cheerleader that acknowledges someone’s successes, is emotionally fulfilling. I love the women in my life.

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2 thoughts on “Art of female bonding

  1. Reading this a couple days after the fact… it sounds cheesy, but that’s partially cuz it’s a hard thing to put into words.
    As cheesy as it all is, I mean it.

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