- “IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN” : I didn’t look up the original reference.
- “A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT”: These data are practically meaningless.
- “WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS”: An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
- “THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY”: The other results didn’t make any sense.
- “TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN”: This is the prettiest graph.
- “THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT”: I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
- “THE MOST RELIABLE RESULTS ARE OBTAINED BY JONES”: He was my graduate student, his grade depended on this.
- “IN MY EXPERINCE”: Once
- “IN CASE AFTER CASE”: Twice
- “IN A SERIES OF CASES”: Thrice
- “IT IS BELIEVED THAT”: I think so.
- “IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT” : A couple of other guys think so too.
- “CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE”: Wrong.
- “ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS”: Rumor has it.
- “A STATISTICALLY ORIENTED PROJETION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS”: A wild guess.
- “A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA”: Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
- “IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS”: I don’t understand it.
- “AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES”: They don’t understand it either.
- “THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO ANDREA SCHAEFFER FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS”: Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Shaeffer explained to me what it meant
- “A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY”: A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
- “IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD”: I quit.
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