Bang your head

Okay, so that was a little reference to the 80’s, and it’s really me banging my head against the wall here. My daughter and I fight constantly. She won’t do a dang thing I tell her to, nor anything I ask her to do. She is mean and spiteful one minute, and sweet the next. She is extremely disorganized and forgetful, which has been a problem before (losing her house keys, losing her phone, losing things in general). I managed to get rid of 8 bags of stuff to try and declutter and make things easier to keep in “order”, which didn’t seem to help. What is left has been spread all over my house in the span of 36 hours.

The real doozie was lunchtime. Thankfully, today I have half my rotation in one location and the afternoon elsewhere. I got off a bit early, so went home first to check on Buddy (Keely keeps forgetting to give him water and leaves him inside when it’s beautiful out, or puts him out when it’s yucky). I drive up, and there is Buddy, sitting very patiently on the porch, the front door wide open. He had been there 3 hours, assuming she got to school on time. God bless my Buddy!! Thankfully, my fairly new cross bike was still in the front room, and nothing seemed to be missing. This is really the final straw, and I called my mom in desperate need of some new ideas.

I have run out of ideas, run out of patience, and I am afraid of losing my daughter (figuratively speaking), which makes me even more on edge. In need of a break and perspective…..

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2 thoughts on “Bang your head

  1. Gosh! Can I ever relate. . . You could choose to view things from a positive perspective–however sometimes it just takes more creativity than we can muster to find a new outlook. Feels like you have some unrealistic expectations. In that, if a parent of a child who in almost grown has an or any expectation it is probably unrealistic. Would your mother consider taking over? I actually had my son go and live down the street with my parents when he reached that age of teen diffiuclty. It was really great because, my parents, had gotten through five children and because of the relationship they have — he cared about how they felt and it helped him to curb his behavior. They let him do things that I would not have been able to do like let him stay out all night and then suffer his own consequenses. He grew up fast in a way that I could have never been able to give him the room to grow that he needed. It was difficult to do but it was the best decision I ever made. He is married now, very grounded and cleans his room. And takes care of the great house he just bought.

    Remember, your daughter probably is really as misserable as you are. From her perspective she cannot relate at all to why you care so much about the things you do. I totally and humbly empahize with you completely. . . All the best, judy

    • Judy-
      First off, I would never ship my daughter off to my mom. She has her own life to deal with. She already had to put up with me. Why would I put my responsibilities on her shoulders at her age? It was my decision to have this child, my decision to be a single parent again, and I embrace that. It doesn’t mean it’s easy. As for growing up fast, she is growing up too fast being the only child of an only parent already. We need to play more. In fact, we had a good talk tonight about each other’s wants, needs, hurts, etc. Like any relationship, it takes work. I want her to learn that it is of utmost importance to communicate on a deeper level with those you love vs. escape the situation which makes you uncomfortable. Why? Because she is worth it!
      While you are happy with the choice you made, I could not live with myself if I gave up on my daughter and MYSELF as a parent.

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