So, today was the first time in about 10 years that I saw my first husband. It involved court stuff over Keely (he is the biological father), and I was nervous, not knowing quite what to expect. He was nervous too. We hadn’t had any contact this whole time, except a couple of recent emails. I didn’t have an attorney, being that I am broke and not sure when I will have a job that pays anything. I made sure to be prepared with everything and spent hours getting all the paperwork together. I wore one of my best suits, a black pinstripe suit with a blue shirt (simple and understated). Everything was simple, and I didn’t have to produce any paperwork.
Oddly enough, we had coffee afterward, preparing for him and Keely to meet this afternoon. We are going to go to dinner and then the Isotopes game. Everything is cordial between us, even a few laughs exchanged. It’s been long enough that we have moved on and don’t care to revisit anything that may be unresolved. It was weird meeting with him. When I last saw him, I had just started undergraduate work. I was no better off financially than I am now, but I certainly wasn’t a professional. Now, I show up to a court date in a pin-striped suit, to show that I am a professional, respectable mom with respect for the court. First impressions, you know.
I was going to write this morning about my feelings going into this, but all the stress of the morning is gone. It’s now all about Keely. I took him pictures of her to see before he meets her. There has been no contact other than cards since she was about 2 years old, and purely by choice.
What I am wondering is… how do you prepare an 11-year-old to meet her father for the first time? How am I going to deal with the questions that follow? Is he going to stay involved? So many questions, but just taking it a day at a time. Here goes nothing.