Thoughts

Interesting things (to me anyway) that have been happening:

1. When I live alone, I am really disciplined about my eating, for the most part. Okay, when I am alone and BROKE, I am really good. When I spend too much time with Nick, I gain weight. I really think it’s because I have only  lived with him while unemployed though….yeah, that’s it. It has nothing to do with the fact that he’s an amazing cook.

2. I have been gluten-free for about a year now, and it’s been good. I cheated a couple times recently, and I regretted it. On Christmas Eve, I didn’t cheat, but when I was in pain all night on Christmas, I thought back and realized that the queso I had eaten had Cream of Mushroom soup in it. The second or third ingredient is wheat flour. Now, I am somewhat paranoid. I forgot how many soups use flour as a thickener, and I am realizing I may be even more sensitive than I thought. I just read an interesting blog ragging on people who “claim” to be allergic to a food, and they give others that really ARE allergic a bad rap. Well, just to be sure, perhaps I should get a blood test for Celiac’s. I can’t imagine that I feel as bad as those with Celiac’s, but people react at different levels. Perhaps something else could be going on….and it has nothing to do with my age. I am only 36!

3. I miss having friends, lots of friends. Many of them aren’t super close to me, or we may not see each other for a long time, but I have made some really great connections in Albuquerque, and I miss them. I haven’t made friends on Maui and not quite sure how to. Just adjusting to everything has kept me pretty busy. It makes me want to come back when I am done, more than I expected. This is odd, considering I am essentially a loner. Must think more on that one.

4. I prefer to reflect on the main lesson of the year rather than make New Year’s resolutions. One of the main themes of this year was having my actions misinterpreted, and it has cost me dearly. I need to find out ways to circumvent/prevent/alleviate that. Most of the misunderstandings were due to actions related to being a single mother. The ones who didn’t understand were not parents, so how could they know what I go through on a daily basis? Priorities change after kids. They HAVE TO change, for the sake of the child(ren). Our intentions are not always seen, so we must make sure our intentions are explicit, and we must make sure that our actions are truly serving the purpose intended.

5. The last couple of years have been pretty emotional at times…lots of changes, lots of endings and new beginnings in relationships, deaths, homes and profession. Right now, despite the change and stress, I feel emotionally quite stable. I really feel I am finally in a good place where I can take pretty much anything thrown at me. Not that I am inviting that, but life is about our perception and reaction to things, not the circumstances we are in. It’s all just one lesson after another, some easier than others.

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4 thoughts on “Thoughts

  1. I totally understand what you are saying about “missing friends”. I wish I have a magic formula to give you to make it easier but I don’t. But don’t worry, you will find friends, and good ones. Sometimes it just take time – especially for peeps like us (more silent, more introvert, not type A but loves to have friends can be lots of fun too! 😉

    One place good t find them are churches. I do not know what your religious belief is but if you are open, it’s a good place to get to know people. We go to Calvary Chapel South Maui, and Hope Chapel is good too. (((hugs))) – adjustment is hard, hang in there – it’ll get better.

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