It’s a Small World, After All

Coincidences often come up in conversation, where you realize perhaps you and a person you just met have a mutual friend. For instance, one of my Team In Training marathon coaches from 2005 I saw in my boyfriend’s stack of pics. His name is Orlando, and he was bouldering at U-Mound with Nick. Then, Nick’s long-time buddy Leo finally joined Facebook, and lo and behold, there is a picture of Orlando in his FB photos. I think he was backpacking or climbing with Leo. Regardless, it’s weird.

Tonight tops the cake though. My daughter and I get back from 3 weeks in New Mexico and after a little dose of sun and sand, we headed to the grocery store. After all, there was really nothing to eat (but mostly I needed cream for my morning coffee). We walked into Safeway here in Kihei, grabbed a cart, and almost ran into a pharmacy school professor of mine from University of New Mexico. He asked what I was doing there, and I explained that I live here now. He had JUST arrived on Maui (kind of like me). I couldn’t remember his name for the life of me at first. Starts with a B…B…Burchiel! Scott Burchiel. Really cool professor.

So, lesson is, always watch your actions. You never know when someone who knows you is nearby.

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Hobble wobble and sway

It’s great being in love…when it’s mutual.

Been busy looking at houses to move into.

Don’t want to move, yet so excited to live in a real home.

Almost done with my intern hours…which means NAPLEX soon.

Still don’t have a job as a pharmacist.

I didn’t answer Albertson’s back about the job offer in time. I would much prefer the New Mexico Cancer Center.

Worried about income over the next couple of months…need to get licensed. Need to get a job.

Buddy was so cute tonight…when we came home from looking at some houses, he had put my sandal at the entry door. Evidently, he wanted to go for a walk.

This is how my brain goes all day.

Oh, spend each morning and night fighting with Keely. HATE it. Came up with a system that just might work. She buys quarters from me, which we keep in a bowl in the hall. When she doesn’t do one of her daily expectations (feed Buddy, make her bed, clear stuff off of her floor), or if I have to tell her more than once to do something, she chooses to lose a quarter. She lost one tonight because she didn’t have everything off the floor, but we had made an agreement, so there was no arguing. We even hugged afterward! Yeah!

I am head over heels in love. I am amazed every time I am with Nick at the love he sends my way. It’s always there, always full and real, and it feels so good. I think I can stop pinching myself now. I don’t doubt he loves me. I am not used to that feeling of security, but I could get used to it.

It’s late, and I am a few days behind on my 333 project. I don’t get out much lately, so hard to take many pictures. Run, run, run. My house gets boring to shoot in…

I still may want a tattoo, but not sure what to get or where. I love some of the Kanji symbols (truth and rabbit)…. just not enough to time to think about it now.

I start a TRX class tomorrow night. It’s gonna kick my butt! yeah!!

I need to get in the climbing gym…my old tri friends are trying to get me to do a triathlon, but I haven’t swam in over a year, and I really don’t want to put my body into a swimsuit…no sirree..running would help me lose the flab…but my right knee hurts.

I LOVE hiking the La Luz…wish I didn’t have to look at houses Wednesday so that I could hike La Luz.

Excited Nick has the next several days off, but upset that I am working almost every day.

Okay, stream of consciousness writing. ….fun? Not really. My mind feels very ADD’ish….it jumps and bobbles, wobbles and sways, and it often doesn’t go far from the area…just back around on the same topics. I need to finish some things so I can get those off of my mind. Tattoo, plane jumping, and climbing first! Oh yeah, I need to take the NAPLEX, find a home and move, find a job, and …and…and….

Think I am gonna go to bed early. I just wore myself out.

136/333

Beat but happy after an afternoon on the wall at Enchanted Tower. I lost a lot of skin today.

135/333

Nick enjoying Thelonious Brothers after some short, but challenging, climbing at Enchanted Tower

131/333

130/333

I am truly excited about getting back in shape. I decided that cycling alone wasn’t doing it for me. I started running a bit, joined a gym, joined the climbing gym, and started in. I have run 2-4 days/week, met twice with a trainer, then I hiked La Luz on Thursday (blog on its way), which equaled 9-10 miles of mostly uphill, then I rode up rte. 66 to 217 and down 14 on Sunday, which was about 5000 ft of elevation gain and 50 miles. I went climbing tonight and found myself sticking things I couldn’t do 2 weeks ago. I can now do 3 pullups (pre-climbing, of course).

I am going climbing with friends Saturday at Enchanted Tower, and planning on something long Sunday. My goal is to hike La Luz or some gnarly trail every 1-2 weeks, with a long bike ride in there also. Already planning on climbing Wednesday again.

God, it feels good to have a life again!!

Need a New Drug

Okay, maybe not a new drug, but it caught your eye. I really need a new focus, which is like a drug to me. When I have a big goal, and I am determined and focused on achieving it, then I am hooked.

I will be getting back in shape. I am running again, learning to climb, riding just a bit, and totally wanting to get strong and lean again. I am such a gym rat at heart. I am not sure if I should shoot for a figure competition in the future, or maybe start off with a half marathon and better climbing fitness, with a competition a year down the road…. that sounds doable.

Half Marathon in October, plus a climbing goal….like a trip where I need to be strong. Oh yeah….the plan is starting to form. I just need to find a race, a training partner, and carve out the time in my schedule. Oh, and I need to drop about 10 lbs. Ouch. It is doable. I did it before. 12 lbs in less than 3 months, from flabby to fabulous. I can do it again. When you have looked like this before, you want it back.

113/333- Peeling Away

That's a lot of dead skin.... and it was worth all the pain

Limbo Land

So many things I could blog about, but it really comes down to me being in limbo. On one hand, I feel really positive about my life. I graduated pharmacy school, have my intern job for now, am not completely broke yet (but close), am spending much needed time with my pillow and with my friends, am trying new things like climbing and perhaps skydiving, and I am working on increasing my physical activity. On the other hand, I have this creeping fear/depression that keeps trying to eek its way in to my life.

I had the craziest dream this morning. I can’t remember all of it, but I do remember that Keely was doing silly stuff like putting basketballs in her shirt. Yes, basketballs….for boobs. It was absurd. But, it gets worse. I then find out she has probably 6 or 7 piercings along the middle of her tongue. Now, how did I miss that? And who did it?!  Turns out a friend of my sister did it, and I was seriously considering pressing charges for child abuse…dunno if that is possible, but I wanted this person to suffer. Keely was clueless to the repercussions, of course. That is the problem. There is more, but that was  a prominent part of my dream.

I don’t know if it is a fear of being out of control of what is happening, or a fear of …..being out of control. She is starting middle school in the fall, and she likes boys, wears bras, steals my makeup, etc. etc.. On my side, I can’t find a job, and I don’t know how long my intern job will last. How on earth did this happen? I had worked so hard networking for residency and setting things up, even travelling twice to certain facilities to make sure it was a good match and to make my presence known. None of it helped.

Add to that negative, self-defeating thoughts creeping in regarding relationships (tends to happen around 5-6 months I have noticed), and I have a bunch of negative forces trying to push their way in. I am trying to work out more, get plenty of sleep, gradually get myself on a good schedule, spend time with people I care about, not stress too much, and trust that things will turn out right. So far, the positive thoughts are winning. I hate when the negative creeps in though. I am trying to remind myself of my engagement to myself. When I treat myself like I would treat a partner, I am not only happier, but I am a better influence on the people around me.

Despite feeling like things will work out, I hope that divine intervention plays a role in my life….and soon. Otherwise, I might not make it under that limbo stick as it moves down, down, down.