Lots of jumbled thoughts today, tonight, lately.
Started out my day very early, hit the snooze for too long, then jetted off to Paia around 5:15am. At Anthony’s, the girl working there showed another customer and me a counterfeit dollar bill. It looked and felt exactly like a real dollar bill, but it had Santa Claus in the middle instead of George. Just one of those fun oddities in an otherwise “normal” day. On the way to Twin Falls, the weather was bad…very wet and windy. Part of our group decided we would join a 7:30am group going out to West Maui instead. Since we had an hour to kill, we went back to Anthony’s. Yum!
It was a good group of riders that headed out. We kept the pace pretty easy, but it was hard not to with the headwinds. One thing I did notice was that people didn’t seem to understand how to draft in crosswind, which means they didn’t seem to know the best place to be when at the front of the line either. I find that on every ride with a crosswind here, the person up front tends to be on the opposite side of the shoulder they need to be on. When I thought about a windsurfer (because most of the cyclists I ride with have a windsurfing background), they don’t want to get behind another windsurfer, because they need that wind. Perhaps that thinking affects their cycling? I like to think of the peleton as a cat and its tail. The person up front is the cat, and everyone after is the tail. You need to leave room for the tail to blow with the wind in the shoulder of the road without it running off the road or into traffic where it could get run over. It would be good to have a clinic on intermediate cycling skills, such as how to ride in a pack, how to draft in a pack, in wind, etc, and tactics for races…… I know a few people who could do that. 🙂
So, the ride was brutal. The headwinds were so tough on parts that I was out of my saddle pumping uphill just to keep myself moving forward. I wasn’t able to hydrate or fuel well because I had my hands on the handlebars all the time, prepared for the next unpredictable gust of wind. We went from Paia to Lahaina, all around West Maui, then back into Paia, with a short stop at the art gallery outside of Kahakuloa.
I made myself some yummy fish tacos when I got home and proceeded to chill, but my mind was racing… I have to move stuff downstairs, and clean the whole upstairs top to bottom. I didn’t feel like moving anything or cleaning anything. I have stuff for work I need to do, but I didn’t want to get in front of the computer right away, and I had questions in my head about relationships. So, I layed on my bed, immobilized by indecision. One must not get attached. It’s that simple. Then you don’t get hurt. BUT, if you don’t let yourself get attached, you are guarding and not fully loving. So, what’s a girl to do? It’s a vicious cycle, but I saw a quote today from Dr. Seuss that pretty much sums up how I look at ANY disappointment in life:
“I won’t cry because it’s over, I’ll smile because it happened.”
Tonight, my daughter and I fought about her schoolwork. I want her to do well, she thinks it’s boring and thus hard. She said, ” I don’t need this boring stuff for what I want to do anyway. You don’t need this for art.” HA! Little does she know. I pulled up Juilliard and Berklee College of Music to see their admission stats. The lowest GPA of people Juilliard accepted was 3.9. Berklee was not the same, but the % of people below 3.0 was very small. They must have been geniuses at music, or rich, or both.
We battled, and she spun things around, put words in my mouth, talked in circles…I kept trying to bring her back to what I was trying to say. Then, I explained to her that I believe with all my heart she can do whatever she sets her mind to. She is a very creative, loving, bright girl with the potential to do well at many things. I wanted her to have the opportunity to be all she could be, to really explore her talents to the utmost. Then, I reminded her that I left my family when I was 16 to study ballet, and I experienced some of the most amazing things through my art because I had the opportunity to really take my dancing to the next level. I want that for her, but I can’t do it for her. She heard that, I think.
Then, I told her she had to skip swimming until her homework was done. That was the end of the quiet listening. Oh well. All in all, a good day with lots of spinning….. on my bike, in my head, and in my heart.