‘Women are the primary resource of the planet.’

The video below is from the woman who created the Vagina Monologues and V Day. I think there are many lessons in her video presented to ponder. She talks about security, and how by creating “security”, we are making ourselves more insecure. We harden. Strength comes from softening, allowing ourselves to be wrong, allowing ourselves to feel emotion, allowing ourselves to lean on others, allowing others to lean on us in their vulnerability and honoring their state. Appreciate how strong someone must be to ask for help, to allow themselves to fully FEEL in the company of others, or even at all.

Lastly, I love her statement at the end, and I invite you to ponder this:

‘Women are the primary resource of the planet.’ – Eve Ensler

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Surreality

What do vivid dreams mean? I went to TEDxMaui tonight, and I really enjoyed listening to Dr. Jacob Lieberman. He spoke with such clarity, both calm and passionate at the same time. He talked about a dream he had where he could see himself sleeping and he then saw every detail of a speech he was to give a year later. The speech happened just like in his dream, without his intervention.

It was timely, considering the night before, I had one of the weirdest dream nights ever. I was sleeping with my partner, but I remember several instances of interacting with him, and I couldn’t tell if they were real or not. Even upon waking, I couldn’t remember what was real. This is why. At one point, I was lying on my back, and he put his hand gently on the crown of my head. Under his touch, my head became hot, my mind envisioning scarlet red. I felt myself relaxing into the sensation, and then he gently put one finger on the back of my head, just behind and below the crown. I can’t describe the energy shift, but I saw the room, and I saw the glowing outline of a white flower in my field of vision. At the same time, I froze.  I went from blissful relaxation to utter panic. I couldn’t inhale, and I couldn’t move. Inside, I was crying “Help me! Help me! Oh God, please help me!”, but no movement of my body, my arms, nor my lungs to be able to say anything. Meanwhile, this white flower is forever in my vision, which couldn’t change. My eyes couldn’t move. NOTHING in my body responded to my mental orders. It lasted what seemed like an eternity. HELPLESS, lying right next to someone who had no idea what was happening, and I couldn’t move my hand the few inches it would have taken to grab his attention. HELPLESS. I was suffocating. When I thought I would pass out from lack of oxygen or outright fear, I gasped and my whole body shuddered. I felt such relief to be able to breathe, that I didn’t dwell on it. I was just so happy to be able to move and feel my lungs fill with air. I literally shook it off, and continued on my dreams, or maybe it was reality. I don’t even know if me sitting up and looking at the clock was real or not. I asked my partner the next morning if he put his hand on my head, which he said he did, but he didn’t remember me shaking my head or gasping. That sensation, that flower, the room was all too real. The panic, the inability to breathe, the absolute shudder of my soul as I was somehow released from the prison of paralysis sticks with me. It was too real.

Have You Been Vulnerable Today?

I have seen this video from TedX before, and I may have shared it before, but I felt it worth sharing again. Especially during the holidaze, when so many family issues come to the surface, this is a great reminder and eye opener. I have struggled for a long time to feel the comfort with vulnerability Brene Brown speaks of in this video. It has been a slow process. I recently hung out with a new friend who is on the cusp of a new outlook on life, one step closer to living his truth. I told him why I now feel so emotionally and mentally secure, which is because I had a nervous breakdown in 2008, and I vowed NEVER, EVER to let myself get that way again. After sharing that, I was driving away, and I was overwhelmed with the realization of how far I have come. The tears welled up, which confused me, but I realized that it’s a good thing. I am okay with me, and I am proud of how much I have let go. I have a long way to go, but I have turned my life around for the better. Enjoy this video. Share it. Digest it. Watch it as many times as you care to. Then watch the second one. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Much love, Me.